| failure |
[Sunday, February 12, 2006 // 6:46pm] |
I guess my failure would be not being able to make my marriage work. I tried, tried really hard, but in the end it wasn't enough. Nothing could have brought him back into my arms, I tried everything I could think of. Maybe it was time to move on. I can't stay stuck in time wishing for something that may never happen. I wanted to make things work, but they wouldn't. They just couldn't. I was the one that left, made him think something was going on when there wasn't. I gave him the suspicion that things just couldn't work between us. I should have expected something more from myself. I failed at my OWN marriage. No one had a part in that but me. I let him down, and I let myself down. I'm dumb and irresponible...maybe he's right about things. I should just go away and never come back.
Haley James Scott
One Tree Hill
151 words
note: written before her and nathan ever started working on things, and also it sucks, but lately the prompts have been rather hard to work around haley.)
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| Topic 107: Another Year Gone By |
[Saturday, December 31, 2005 // 12:37pm] |
Haley James Scott
One Tree Hill
186 words
This year, has to be one of the most HORRIBLE, yet exciting ones in my life. I've been heartbroken, and then in love and heartbroken again. I've been confused, andy and hurt more then I'd like to ever have those feelings again. I've gotten married, divorced and rebounded into another relationship, well not really rebounded, but yeah. My year, if I could change anything, I'd change a few things.
I'd change the fact that I had gotten married, I'd never have married Nathan if I knew what would happen down the road. I wouldn't have given Chris Keller the time of day either if I had known what a slimebad he was. I would have stopped Lucas from getting into a relationship with Brooke, if I had known that his heart would be broken.
I do wish one thing, something I could have done. I wish I could have made everyone happy, instead of either hating me, or just downright not talking to me. This year I have a resolution, I'm going to start taking responsibility for my actions, instead of blaming them on everyone else.
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| Topic 103: What is the one thing you regret not saying? |
[Thursday, December 29, 2005 // 11:05pm] |
Haley James Scott
One tree Hill
169 words
Theer's a lot of things in the life of Haley James that could have been said and weren't. For example, I should have never stayed on that tour after Nathan left, I should have come straight home, but I didn't. I should have said 'Stay, please Nathan'. I was so stupid.
Then I should have told Lucas I had feelings for him when I had the chance. Now it's too late, things have happened that there is no turning back. I refret not telling him I loved him. I should have told him that and I should have told Chris to fuck off, he was the one that set my life into a downward spirtal of deciet and divorce. I regret not being more firm in my answer of no. I wans't strong enough to tell Lucas that I cared for him, in the end it was he that told me exactly how he felt, but we'll see how long these things last, especially once things with Brooke get settled...
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| Topic 104: What are you happy about right now? |
[Thursday, December 29, 2005 // 11:01pm] |
Haley James Scott
One tree Hill
160 words
Right now I must. I have to be the happiest person I've been in such a long time, dar I say it since the day the euphoria or my marriage to Nathan. Things are looking up. I've moved out of Brooke's apartment, and into my own, and I'm starting a new life for myself. Even signed the divorce papers to release Nathan, he deserves better. So does Lucas, but Lucas won't let me go. I have to let Nathan go, it's not fair to hold him back, we're both ready to move on, it's time. I forgot how much fun I had with Lucas and working at the cafe'. I had forgotten how much I loved life and how happiness really felt. The feeling of life is finally looking up for me, because now I can live, and be free. And learn that not all things are bad and that people can in fact have happy endings.
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| Topic 105: What does karma Mean to you? |
[Thursday, December 29, 2005 // 10:55pm] |
Haley James Scott
One tree Hill
178 words
Karma used to be just a drink at Karen's cafe, but then my world crashed around me and I realized Karma was real and it wasn't something to be messed with. Such as the saying goes: what comes around, goes around. I'm now a very strong believer in this stuff, because it is real, very real.
Karma came to haunt me that night I kissed Chris. It caused my heart to break, my world to shatter, and made me lose everything that I thought was something I'd never loose. It hurt so bad in my veins. Nathan had shunned me the moment I arrived home, Karma had begun to kick my ass in every direction known to man. It destroyed my marriage, and it destroyed my ability for music. Oh and did I mentionit brought back the main reason for the anguish in my life? Yes, Chris Keller had once again come into my life. Wonderful thing Karma is. then again maybe I should blame myself and not the wonderful thing called Karma Either way, it won.
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| Topic 106: Random Act of Kindness |
[Thursday, December 29, 2005 // 10:49pm] |
Haley James Scott
One tree Hill
164 words
Random acts of kindness happens more then people seem to remember, even the smallest things can be viewed as moving. Like when a mother picks their child up from the ground and kisses their wounds from falling off their bikes. It warms your heart. Small things may not mean much, but when you're young like that, it means the world.
A act of kindness I expierenced means the world to me. It was when i cam back from the tour and everyone had turned their backs on me. ONly one person hadn't and that was Lucas. He still embraced me ith open arms even after everything that I had done wrong. And that was so moving, that I will never forget. Love is the greatest and most moving thing that could ever happen to someone.
But in essence, kindness comes in all shapes and sizes, even the littlest things can be the most moving to people. It depends on how a person views thing.
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